I just got myself into a new addiction - digital scrapbooking. I know my former officemates will kill me for getting into this (they were convincing me before to go into the "traditional scrapbooking") but I guess (and I hope) that they will understand why I chose this instead of the traditional one.

I got into this new hobby after joining an internet forum wherein one of the topics that came up was about digital scrapbooking. I checked out the layouts that the other members posted, and suddenly, the urge to create one just came! There was this little voice inside me that told me this is could be the much-awaited solution to organizing Zion’s 2-years-worth-of-pictures. Aside from this, digital scrapbooking would be more cost-saving and space-saving than the traditional kind because one doesn’t need to buy an album, a bunch of papers and embellishments to be able to start and maintain a scrapbook. As long as you have an internet connection, everything can be done on a PC or laptop. There are a lot of free downloads in the internet that can be used to start and maintain a digital scrapbook. You just have to be patient in searching and downloading these freebies. No need to worry also that the scrapbook will get ruined by spills, natural and accidental wear-and-tear. Everything’s on the internet or PC/laptop. One can backup his/her digital scrapbooks on the internet or on CD’s, at the least.

I must admit that this hobby is really addicting. I always look forward to Fridays and the weekends because these are the days wherein I can pour my creative juices into my digital scrapbook layouts. I must also admit that my layouts look "kindergarten" as compared to the layouts of my fellow digiscrappers in that internet forum. Nonetheless, I take pride in my simple layouts because I know that I did my best in creating them, and that I’m doing this digital scrapbook with a mother’s love to her precious child. This is for my Zion.

Check out my digiscrap layouts at http://altered-aura.blogspot.com/. It is still a masterpiece in progress, but I hope you find time to visit it. I’ll try to post new layouts every week. Comments and feedback will be appreciated. Info on digital scrapbooking sites on the internet are also welcome!

Quote for the Day:

"Hate the Game, Not the Player…"

We had all been in that situation before. At one time or another, we had been Players in a cruel and vicious Game. Some are lucky enough to benefit big time from it, while most just get the basics. Personally, there are times when I get pissed by the way it works. Not that I feel helpless about it, perhaps, I just try to keep my cool, devise a new gameplan and even see the Game from a different perspective - play hard, let It know I mean business, and show the Game what I’m made of, without stepping on the toes of the other Players. If that gameplan fails, at least I know I tried… tried hard as I could. I know that I will not be a spectator ranting about what happened, but not realizing I didn’t do anything to even the playing field. In fairness, though unfair in some of its ways, the Game has done me and the generations before me some good. Simply put, it has fed and sustained me and those before me. And though I really hate the Game, I must also admit that seldom do I bite the hand that feeds me.

I got this from a friend (si Ann - sis ni Zsa). Para sa mga walang magawa at sa mga idle-minds na gaya ko ngayon.

1.) anong kwento ng name mo?

We spent the hot and humid Saturday afternoon singing our lungs out testing the Magic Sing mama has bought about a year ago (napansin nyo ba na bigla na lang umulan nung bandang early evening?? hehehe..). Oks pa naman yung Magic Sing. It’s was working perfectly well, except that our song chips were quite outdated. Wala pa yung mga ibang songs na maririnig sa MTV, Channel V, and even sa Myx.
 

So while we’re at it, na-discover ko rin last Saturday ang aking top 5 Videoke / Magic Sing songs. Ito yung mga songs na nakanta ko ng "effortlessly", mala-diva, at syempre, hindi nawala sa tono:

5. Shower Me With Your Love - Atlantic Starr
4. Bluer Than Blue - di ko maalala ang singer..
3. The Old Songs - Barry Manilow
2. Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters

and ang aking Top 1 Song kung saan ako ay himalang nakakuha ng 95 na score ay…

1. Superstar - The Carpenters

Na-discover ko na kaya ng vocal prowess ko ang mga songs na pinasikat ng famous 70’s singer na si Karen Carpenter (sana sinasabayan rin ng body size ko ang body size nya minus her anorexia). Sa sobrang pagka-aliw ko nga ay nagdownload pa ako nung ng mp3’s nung mga songs na yan.. wala lang.. feel ko lang na mag-specialize sa mga kantang yan… pang practice para next time na mapasubo ako sa videoke times sa office, eh may pambato na rin akong songs. O diba? Eh kayo, any favorite videoke songs? =)

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends who attended Zion’s birthday party. To all my high school and "kababata" buddies - Grace, Rio, Gayleen, and Bhang, thanks for always being there for me and Zion. Cana, Oli, Weng, Toto, and Ate Lidz, thank you for extending your birthday wishes to Zion. I understand perfectly kung bakit di kayo nakapunta. No worries. To all my friends from Sunlife - Shawie, Ron, Sol, Pao, Mau, Cami, Jeremy, James, Mich, Boker, and Glenn - thank you for finding time to attend Zeegy’s party, lalo na kay Ron, Pao, and Glenn na fresh pa sa (pagtakas??) from weekend OT work. Abaut, Solomon, Junie, Renco, pose ko na lang pics from the birthday party sa friendster. Alam kong mahal ang airfare kaya di kayo nakapunta. Bhel, sayang di nakapunta si Pao and Pia. Pero I understand naman kung bakit. No worries. Jan, oks lang po kung di ka nakapunta. Minsan din ako nakasama sa implem at alam kong hindi joke ang mag-implement ng Ingenium project phases. Oks lang po. Last year naman andun kayo.

Para sa akin ito yung isa sa mga moments na malalaman mo sino ang mga taong malalapit talaga sa iyo at maaasahan mo. Yung mga tao na willing mag-share ng 2-3 hours nila para magbigay tuwa at suporta sa isang simpleng birthday party. Sa mga friends ko na hindi nakapunta pero nakabigay naman ng valid explanation a week(s) before, naiintindihan ko kayo. Case of wrong timing lang talaga. Pero sa iba… haayy.. nakakasama kayo ng loob. Medyo simple lang ang birthday party ni Zion kaya di ko maimbita ang buong barangay. Kaya ganun na lang ang appreciation level ko sa mga nagpunta, at ganun na lang din tampo ko sa mga hindi nakapunta na walang valid reason. Salamat sa regalo, pero mas mahalaga ang presence nyo. Thank you for the gifts, but your time and presence is priceless. Sa iba naman na ni wala man lang valid explantion or kahit alibi man lang, I believe that divine retribution or karma will find its way to you. At least ngayon alam ko na kung sino rin yung mga dapat kong ituring na tunay na kaibigan.

     "Sorry I never told you
      All I wanted to say
      And now it’s too late to hold you
      Cause you’ve flown away
      So far away…" - One Sweet Day (Mariah Carey + Boyz II Men)

Last Sunday (April 6) my beloved Lola Pacing passed away. She was 88. I can strongly agree that she has lived a very fruitful and meaningful life. Ever since I saw her showing signs of mental lapses, I had already resigned myself to the hard truth that she won’t be with us for long. At Lola’s age of 88, I know that soon, God will send the angels to give Lola her own wings. What I can’t accept is that Lola passed away without any of us by her bedside. I can’t accept the fact that I wasn’t able to say my last goodbyes to Lola. I can’t accept the fact that I wasn’t able to hold her hand and kiss her when she was still warm and breathing. I can’t accept that I wasn’t able to say all that I wanted and needed to say when Lola was still alive.

 
Lola, I know you are now in God’s care. I also know you can no longer read this blog entry. Nonetheless, through this post, allow me to tell you those things that I should have told you when you were still alive.

    
Lola, thank you for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. When I was still a baby, thank you for waking up late at night to comfort me when I was crying my lungs out. Thank you for painstakingly preparing my baon each day when I was still in prep and elementary. Thank you for being a very patient tutor during my student years. Thank you for defending me and making "sugod" to my classmates who bullied me when I was still a helpless sickly kid back in elementary. Thank you for staying up late at night just to help me finish my crochet and sewing projects. Thank you for all your sacrifices, for choosing to stay here in Manila to take care of me, instead of spending a better life in the US. Thank you for being open-minded and for being supportive when I was still in that "lovestruck" phase. Thank you for being a wonderful grandmother, a second mother, a very good "lawyer", a confidant, a teacher, a friend. Thank you for all the memories.

   
Lola, please forgive me for those moments when I thought you were just being "makulit". My heartfelt apologies for those times when I answered you back, thinking I was already old enough to make my own decisions and handle matters by myself. Forgive me for those instances when I thought that your opinions and advice were old-fashioned and outdated. Lola, forgive me for all the headaches and heartaches I gave you when you were still alive.

      
Lola, if only I could ask God to bring you back to life even for just 5 minutes. I would tell you how thankful I am for having you as my grandmother - that even a million thank you’s wouldn’t be enough for all your sacrifices. That if my life would start all over again, I would request fate to send you again to be my grandmother. That I wouldn’t be who I am today, if not for your patience, your kindness, and your love. Lola, I love you very very very very much. I will always remember you until my last breath. And I hope that when it is my time to leave this world, you will still be there on the other side, ready to meet me with your loving smile and with open arms. 

I got this from Pao. To all my friends who have read Dragonlance or have played D&D, this is one cool quiz.. Hehehehe.. =)

I Am A:

True Neutral Human Ranger (5th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength- 12
Dexterity- 12
Constitution- 15
Intelligence- 15
Wisdom- 17
Charisma- 12

Alignment:
True Neutral- A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn’t feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he’s not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Rangers- Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter’s dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger’s Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be? –> http://www.easydamus.com/character.html

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good —– XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Neutral Good —- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Chaotic Good —- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Lawful Neutral — XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
True Neutral —- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Lawful Evil —– XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Neutral Evil —- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Chaotic Evil —- XXXXXX (6)

Law & Chaos:
Law —– XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral - XXXXXXXX (8)
Chaos — XXX (3)

Good & Evil:
Good —- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Evil —- XXX (3)

Race:
Human —- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Dwarf —- XXXXXXXX (8)
Elf —— XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Gnome —- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXXXX (8)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - XXXX (4)

Class:
Barbarian - (-2)
Bard —— (0)
Cleric —- XX (2)
Druid —– XX (2)
Fighter — (0)
Monk —— (-19)
Paladin — (-27)
Ranger —- XXXXXX (6)
Rogue —– (-8)
Sorcerer — XX (2)
Wizard —- XX (2)

After ng mga nakaraang serious blog entries ko, I have decided to shift to a lighter mood now. Parang way ko rin ito to somehow thaw and defrost from the coldness of Minnesota. It’s like my way of saying welcome to the warmth brought about by the start of summer here in Manila.

Kung hindi nyo na itatanong, isa sa mga small (and secret) dreams ko nung bata pa ako eh maging commercial model, lalo na yung commercial model ng shampoo. There’s something about the way those commercial models flip their hair, that leaves me mesmerized. Sabi ko nun kay Mama, sana maging shampoo commercial model din ako, kahit na hindi na ipakita yung face ko, basta maging super flowing lang ang hair ko on and off-cam. Sa kasamaang palad, hindi naging super-straight, super-soft ang hair ko. Minalas ako at di ko namana yung straight and manipis na texture ng buhok ng nanay ko. Instead, wavy, makapal, at coarse yung texture ng buhok ko. Kaya nga ayoko mag-horse back riding nun. Baka mapagkamalan kasi na hair extensions ko yung buhok ng kabayo. Sa paglipas ng panahon, natanggap ko na tali na sa tali ng ponytail ang hair ko. At dumating pa ang worst torture sa buhok ko nung pinadala ako sa Minnesota at the height of winter. Kung nung bago ako umalis eh wavy lang ang buhok ko, nung dumating ako eh frizzy na sya. Halos close-to kinuryente ang itsura ng buhok ko. Kung noon eh ayaw ko lang mag-horseback riding, nung bumalik ako ng Manila, eh ayaw ko na dumikit sa walis tambo, kasi hindi na sila nagkakalayo ng itsura at texture.

If there’s one thing na magandang naidulot sa akin ang pagpunta ko ng US (aside from the training and learning experience), eto yung nakapag-ipon ako ng kahit konti. At kasama dyan sa pinag-ipunan ko na yan eh ang "pagpapagamot" ng nakakaawa ko nang buhok. Matagal na panahon na rin nagtiis ang buhok ko patsi-patsing hair treatments gaya ng hot oil and hair relax. I think this time, it deserves a major overhaul. Ito ang reason kung bakit finally ay nagpa-rebond na ako. May kamahalan sya kung tutuusin, pero nung nakita ko naman ang results ay nakita kong sulit. Hindi lang yung hair ko ang nabuhayan ng loob. Even my self-confidence had a major boost. Hindi naman lumaki ang ulo ko. Let me get this straight. The praises and good comments were just enough to lift my damp spirit to its normal level. After several years na parang preso ng ponytail ang hair ko, nakalaya din sya. Kaya sa mga nakakaisip magpa-rebond, GO SISTER (or sige.. BROTHER din.. in case guy ka at feel mo rin magpa-rebond)! Take it from me, it works wonders! Aside from repairing one’s hair, it also repairs one’s self-confidence and self-perception.

SOUNDS OF SILENCE (Simon & Garfunkel)

Hello, darkness my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dares
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whispered in the sounds of silence.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t able to give a sensible explanation of what this song means during an exam in Literature back in fourth year high school, I must admit that this is one of my all-time favorite songs. It’s a classic in its own right. There is something in the song that always catches my fancy, especially the 3rd and 4th stanzas.
   
   
Being an introspective individual (except when I am with people whom I feel very comforatble with.. you’re lucky if you’re one of them… it only means I enjoy and value your company) I have often enjoyed the warmth brought about by silence. I am comfortable in it. In those moments I am able to think things over, evaluate the repercussions of things that I’ve done, and plot out my next  gameplan. I have been labelled as aloof, cold, indifferent, sometimes even autistic because of my silence. I just laugh at these comments. Obviously, these are the folks who "talk without speaking" and "hear without listening". Perhaps it never crossed their minds that at times, their loudness exposes their ignorance and the lowliness of their thinking.  That sometimes, silence allows one to cover what one doesn’t know, thus hiding the tendency to look stupid in public. And intelligence is not always measured by the volume or tone of our voices, nor by the flamboyance in the delivery. Instead, it is measured on how much sense is in the message’s content, even if only a few words were spoken.
   
   
So to all of those who mock the silence of people like me, I pity you. Our silence doesn’t mean we are bowing and conceding. We just don’t want to jump in and join in the bandwagon of people talking nonsense. The world is filled with noise pollution, why add to it? Our silence doesn’t mean we know less. We just don’t stoop down to your level of thinking. We have already achieved much in our silence, we don’t have to flaunt it using words. Let our actions speak of what we have accomplished. Can you now hear the sounds of silence? Enough said.